Wednesday, February 20, 2008

4:59am...

Glancing at the clock, I stumble at the notion that I should be entirely in bed by now. However, I'm not. I'm finding myself sitting here at the dining table underneath what appears to be the loneliest set of illuminated lighting to be found in the entire apartment at the moment. And here is me sitting alone only to be a compliment to the atmosphere of this early morning restlessness . Daring to take a second glance, it finally jumps at me that it's 4:59am and that I am coming to grips of becoming fully aware that I am a part-time insomniac.

By definition, an insomniac is someone who is characterized by persistent difficulties in falling asleep or staying asleep despite the opportunity that is granted to them. For the most part, it is also typically followed by functional impairment while they are awake. Well, for me, I consider myself only part-time in this sleeping disorder because it's not persistent so to speak. I do have nights where I am sleeping perfectly normal without any obstructions affecting me. And it's also only sometimes that I'm awake and struck with realization that I'm functionally impaired.

Perhaps, all of what I just said is just bullshit coming from a part-time insomniac (like me) who really just doesn't want to go to bed, but rather has some internal revelry in spending endless odd hours attempting to defy sleep and squeeze in as much more hour in a day than it is naturally possible. Or maybe I have other intentions.

Well, since I am conveniently up (as oppose to being in bed), I clearly think I will go for a morning jog to make myself sweat, ...to make myself tired, ...to make myself lose some of this energy that's keeping myself awake,...to make myself become cold in order to yearn for the comforts of a warm bed,...and to figure out everything else that I need to make out of myself...

...at 5:28am.

Fuck. it's 5:29am now.

7 comments:

ChiliLady said...

I wanted you to know, i really enjoy reading your blog and added you to my favourits! :-)
hope you have a great day!
Chililady from Austria

kaingsv said...

I'm a part time insominiac too!

Anthony said...

I'm debating whether I'm an isomniac or not, but I think it's more so that we are not "morning persons". We get stuff done at night (even if it's pointless stuff) more so than in the day. Mornings just feel so empty, and dead. That's why I stay up late, and wake up late.

That then just ruins are circadian rhythm (I think it takes over a week to get it back to normal??? psych 105... skipped all day lol), allowing us not able to sleep early, rather than us being insomniacs. Hence I guess that's why you mention part-time. I think being in Pullman will forever make our rhythms fugged due to our weekends... lol

Anthony said...

PS - I heard exercising keeps you up. lol just a thought in case you were exercising to try and sleep.

I stay up late, and wake up extremely late. Don't know if I'm saving many hours, but in the words of Kelly "meh".

KorBua said...

I hope u'll find ur cure to ur sleeping prob. :) Too bad I didn't catch u online at that time. :)

Harue said...

wow... I think I am a part-time insomniac!! or..maybe not..
I slept from 6 pm to 5:30 am and had jack and then fell asleep again! and woke up at 1:30 pm.ToT
I don't know what I'm doing here anymore!!>.<
well...i still got jack, do u want some?? hehehhehe;D
I haven't seen u for the last couple of days, have I??
how r u doing~???

chloe said...

i am sometimes insomniac, but "functional impairment" is permanent. -_-